(Some days I just need to break open my special “Hope-List” journal and remind myself of what God has waiting ahead for me : )


Processed with RookieI desire…

A handsome man after God’s heart❤

A man who boldly lives his faith in Christ; who is 100% sold-out for His cause; who is completely unashamed of the Gospel (the FULL Gospel) and will exercise his gifts; a man who is a leader and someone of noble character; a man who is a doer of the Word & not merely just a hearer; a man who is obedient to God & His word no matter the cost; a man who will weep with those who weep and care for the broken-hearted, the destitute, the lonely, the sick, and hurting; a man who will be able to teach & preach God’s word and who really lives out what he believes; a man who is hospitable; a man who is accountable to other godly men for his life, heart-attitude, and actions; a repentant & humble man and someone I can laugh together with; a man with a clean & pure heart; a man who respects and honors me, women, and authority and also someone who loves children & the rejected of society. And most importantly…a man who reveres, honors, and loves the Lord above anyTHING or anyONE else!

And, for this man…I will wait.



“My name is Autumn and here’s a snapshot of my Caterfly Story….    

photo cred: Kara Dicarlo

photo cred: Kara Dicarlo

So many people ask me why I am obsessed with butterflies? Why they are in my room, on my walls, and in my car? Why they are tattooed all over this “perfect” pastor’s daughter and why they are so important to me? Well, this “perfect pastors daughter” didn’t always have it so perfect–still don’t and that’s what people don’t see. It’s also the beginning of my Caterfly story…

I’m 19 years old and I used to feel like I’ve lived 100 years…fear will drain you like that, if you let. When I was little, I struggled with something called, “Separation Anxiety Disorder.” It wasn’t that bad…Or so I thought. It started when my mom became pregnant with my little sister. Then we needed to find a new home. Then my parents BOTH got a new job. And, THEN I had to go to a different school and THEN, the panic started. That was a lot of change for me then and my life also dramatically changed from that point on.

I can remember my dad pulling up to the school in our car and me just sweating bullets in the leather seats. Fear would come up through the palm of my hands and bottoms of my feet–it was a never-ending nightmare. My dad had to walk me into school while I was sweating and squeezing his arms each step of the way. The whole dropping me off for school thing…no longer worked for me.

Everyday I walked into that school making eye contact with my teachers, principals, and counselors and everyday I’d hear the same question, “Autumn, are we gonna have a easy day or hard one?” Funny thing is, there never had been an easy day. I would turn my head and start to panic and waited to feel more than just my dad’s hand wrap around my small body. I waited to feel them rip my arms away from him…and this was every day for 2-3 years.

AutumnI became physically sick every day at that elementary age because the panic attacks and adrenaline were tearing my body apart. The day came where my mom said, “We just can’t do this to her anymore, we are done.” I left school that day and didn’t return until seven years later. Seven years of not leaving my mom’s side. Seven years of panic attacks and horrible moments. Seven years of going on every date, pastors conference and counseling meetings with my parents. Seven years of doing whatever my mom was doing and going WHEREVER she went because…I couldn’t be without her. Seven years of sitting on the toilet while my mom showered because being outside the door would just be way too far away.

During those seven years, I felt like I completely lost my identity. I didn’t know who I was anymore and I didn’t care. I wanted this life to just stop, even if for only a couple of seconds.

How did I come out of the fear hole? Continue reading



Many years ago, a few single girlfriends and myself decided we needed to get serious about this finding ourselves a huuuusband deal. So, photo-4naturally…what better way to show your gettin’ down to business about something other than to make it an official mission, of course, which also meant giving it a name, too. We called it, “MISSION H (for Mission-Husband and all things—“H”…and also ALL things cheesy!) Let me tell ya, we got really creative and cornballish with all the H-descriptions and declarations about this Hottie-Holy-Spirit-filled-Handsome-Helper-Heart-after-God-Holy-Hunk-of-a-Husband waiting for us at the end of this mission! I’m very happy to report that Mission-H was a HUGE success to almost all of our team members (who are now happily married to their H-MEN, I might add)…well, except one, that is. This chicita is still wearing her, “SOMEONE TO BRING HOME TO MAMAtee (ok, not really) and moving confidently forward with MISSION-H!!

What better way to find success in a mission than to learn from those who’ve gone before you and gotten it right, RIGHT??  

The Prophet Samuel was one such man. Like me, he too, was someone on a mission to find a King. He was sent by God specifically to the house of Jesse to anoint one of his sons to be the next one. Let’s look at this story in 1 Samuel 16.

“When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.” But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “The Lord has not chosen this one either.” Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, “Nor has the Lord chosen this one.” 10 Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, “The Lord has not chosen these.” 11 So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?” “There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep.” Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.” 12 So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features. Then the Lord said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.” 13 So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon David. Samuel then went to Ramah.” (1 Samuel 16: 6-13)

Some questions/thoughts for us single folk to think about:

  1. Have you been so focused on looking for an “Eliab” when maybe God has hidden away a “David” for you? (ME: GUILTY.)
  2. Have YOU been living like an Eliab focused only on your natural/outward appearance and not the matters & character of YOUR heart?
  3. Are you open to allowing God to give you eyes of Samuel to see potentials you may not have considered? (Remember…David was FIIIINE AND also had the heart to make him the package-deal, he just wasn’t the natural-superman-type, like Eliab)
  4. Who’s “house” are you visiting, so to speak, to find this one?
  5. What qualities are you looking for in your Mr./Mrs. Right?
  6. Do your eyes just see the outward appearance with disregard of the lifestyle choices & heart of a potential spouse?
  7. David was busy serving his father along with being a faithful worker, as well. Is the man/woman you’re interested in responsible, humble, a servant and most importantly–has a heart for God? And, what about YOU?

I want to encourage all you singles out there, like me to continue to pursue God with ALL your heart. Be faithful to serve Him and His house in the often times-hidden and humble places. And keep those Samuel-eyes sharpened to be able to spot the Davids (or Davida’s for you fellas—hehe!) And, hey, ya never know…they may just be right around you and you MAYBE just possibly haven’t SEEN them yet? (wink, wink) Because, at just the RIGHT time, the appointed time…David was called out of the hidden places and anointed as King. Remember–God’s timing truly IS the best. He has NOT forgotten you! Stay focused on Him. Let the eyes of your heart be opened! Delight your heart FULLY IN Him and the time WILL arrive for your King to come! (And, a BIG thanks to Samuel for helping us out with a little advice on navigating some on the wild adventures of a single’s life! ; )