On my way out of the gym today, I stopped by to say hello to Gold’s Gym owner, Diane Wenson, who was sitting at one of the lobby tables eating her very healthy lunch of brown rice with asparagus, and a turkey burger made with flax seed, and protein powder. Looked delicious! No, seriously-it did. And, being the inquisitive person that I am, I began to ask her questions of how she eats, considering her background in competitive fitness dancing, and her multiple reigning titles of National Champion- she has alot of insight to offer in this area. She began to talk to me about wheat blueberry pancakes, egg whites, strawberry this, and rasberry that, and made me wish that I could order me up some right there!
She then asked me about how I eat, and if I am a healthy eater? This is when the record goes skreeetch! Ok, I am not back in college, reporting to one of my coaches…I had to tell myself before answering.
My response: I have been eating really healthy these last two months, but honestly, I can fluctuate with how healthy I am eating based on what is going on in my life. She then asked if I am an emotional eater. I admitted that this can be a challenge for me. I was tempted to justify this as something most woman struggle with and therefore-no big deal, it is what it is, and there I remain in it. But, I stopped myself, and spoke honestly about what this practically looks like for me, and what I am doing about it.
I shared with her that almost twenty years ago, I had struggled with bulimia (which for those of you, who heard like I did, that once you are a bulimic, you will always be or at the very least recovering-that is NOT true! Jesus is the key deciding factor in that. There is hope! I no longer struggle with any desire to go back to that lifestyle, and haven’t for…almost two decades now.) A key part of this journey of healing for me was to go to God with my emotions instead of trying to find comfort through food. Sounds so simple, yet it requires every morsel of faith to apply this. It is my soul that is hungering for God, and will only be satisfied when I seek God to fill me.
Going to food when our soul is hungry is like filling your car’s gas tank with orange juice expecting it to run properly. Gas is for a gas tank, like food is for our stomache. It can be food to some, alcohol/drugs to another, porn and sex to yet another, but the problem is one in the same…and the solution is one in the same.
We were made to be satisfied fully by God, and He desires to meet our deepest needs through His lovingkindness. When my soul is hungry, there is nothing better to feed it with than the best soul food out there-the Bible. It tastes like honey to my insides, and true satisfaction always comes. Another discipline I have applied along this journey is that when I find myself in a place where food is beginning to ‘win’ my heart over God…I go on a spiritual fast, fasting whichever food is fighting for my affections. God always wins.
You can find some great resources about eating disorders/addictions, etc at www.mercyministries.com
Be filled with the love of God~